


Extraordinarily Mundane

by Skep



Category: Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-13
Updated: 2016-05-18
Packaged: 2018-06-08 05:30:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6840823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skep/pseuds/Skep
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the spirit of "a is for apple", this is a collection of random one-shots about Alec Lightwood and Magnus Bane - each one from a different time and about a different topic, all meant to show them as an ordinary couple with the Shadow World running beneath that. All the Malec things, really.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One: G is for Groceries**

_April 2008_

“Can’t you just magic it all here?”

Magnus gave a dramatic gasp and clutched at his chest. “Alexander! Why I never… was it not just yesterday that you went on that rant about us being, what was it, _perfectly able-bodied adults who are therefore able to get up off our pert little butts to change the channel on the television_.” He looked at the small gray cat perched on the arm of the sofa beside him, nodding when the cat yowled and set about cleaning his front paw. “You see, even Chairman Meow remembers that rant, although he reminds me you said _lazy asses_ instead of _pert little butts_.”

Alec rolled his eyes and sunk lower into his end of the sofa, wishing his gray hoodie and black sweatpants were better camouflage against the vivid electric blue of the fabric. “Great. You’re losing your mind like those other ancient warlocks you told me about… thinking the cat is talking to you.” 

Another dramatic gasp erupted from the end of the sofa where Magnus sat looking elegantly sprawled instead of deflated, decked out in an oversized white shirt, one that reminded Alec of the shirts Jonathan Rhys-Meyers and the other actors on The Tudors wore while they pretended they lived in Tudor England, skinny black jeans, and an array of colorful scarves. “I am not ancient! I am only three hundred.” He ducked when a throw pillow sailed at his head, thrown because of his improper dating. “You’re rude and we’re going to need groceries so… let’s go.” 

He didn’t move. 

“You didn’t even hunt demons last night,” Magnus muttered as he got to his feet and kicked at Alec’s legs where they were stretched on the ottoman, “and you say I am a lazy ass. Come on, listen to the cat… his cries are cries of hunger.” 

“Can’t you go?” Alec realized he was whining and he didn’t particularly care. “I don’t want to change.” 

He considered what Alec was wearing. The hoodie was more or less new, in that it was still the original heather gray color, there were no holes in the white t-shirt he wore underneath it, and the pants, sweatpants though they were, were not faded and fit him just right. The gay men and straight women of Brooklyn would probably all be checking him out. “You don’t need to change,” he said, only partly just because he really wanted to get groceries, “you look fine. Let’s go.” 

Knowing when to admit defeat, such as when Magnus didn’t insult his clothes, he got up and went in search of his sneakers. “You’re really letting me go out in sweats?” 

“Yes, though they are nice enough that they count as workout gear, which is entirely different than sweats.” He shed two scarves to make Alec more comfortable and added half a bottle of water to the cat’s bowl. “It’s only Whole Foods, Alec, not a black tie affair so let’s roll.” 

They arrived at Whole Foods half an hour later, having walked there for the fresh spring air while they would take the subway back so the fresh spring air would not spoil their milk. Magnus had not been wrong about those who would check Alec out, one burly construction worker was probably having a terrible afternoon explaining to his equally burly co-workers just why he walked into a trashcan when Alec walked by, and his sexy Shadowhunter was adorably oblivious to all the stares. It wasn’t even just because he was grouchy about groceries, he was just apparently eternally unable to believe he was something desirable to anyone but the High Warlock of Brooklyn, and maybe not even him. Alec grabbed a cart as soon as they got into the store, reasoning that if he was pushing it there would be less chance of Magnus telling him to pick between the sixty-four varieties of apples that basically tasted the same… like apples. Magnus walked beside him, one ringed hand draped over the side of the cart. “It occurs to me, Alec,” he said in a low voice, “that this is our first grocery shopping expedition and, though I know you’ve gone to shops for quick things, I wonder if you’ve ever been to a proper grocery store before.” 

“Shut up, and yes, I have,” he said, glowering unnecessarily at a display of whatever loquats were. “Isabelle tried to set me up on a date once. She’d been bugging me to grocery shop with her too. I told her if she quit saying the word date I would shop with her. She never said it again and I hate grocery stores because of it.” 

Magnus really didn’t hear anything after set me up on a date. “What? Who did she try to set you up with? When was this?” 

“Before I met you, obviously, and I’m not doing this here so, as I said… shut up. And shop.” 

Please?” He sounded more pitiful than he liked but he at least had to know if he knew the person his tied for first favorite Shadowhunter he hadn’t slept with had thought would be good enough for Alec. 

Seriously doubting he could avoid answering until they got home, he stopped in front of a display of locally grown organic tomatoes, though what was ‘local’ to Brooklyn Alec could not imagine. “They were Shadowhunters, alright.”  
Magnus tilted his head to one side. “They? Plural?” 

He nodded, smirking at the alarmed look on Magnus’ face. “Yeah, plural. To be fair, Izzy was fourteen and hadn’t figured out I was gay so she tried to set me up with Helen and then with Mark. Then I started grocery shopping instead.” 

He did not ask if Alec knew at sixteen that he was gay, because he doubted it and because it was rude. He laughed instead, finding serious humor in the mental image of a fourteen year old Isabelle randomly throwing Blackthorns at her brother. Sensing that however much Alec had been relaxed by the story, he would lose patience with shopping if they didn’t get moving, Magnus chuckled and plucked a carton of cherry tomatoes off the display and put them in the cart. “And that’s all?” he asked as they moved along. 

“That’s all. I don’t think Helen and Mark ever even knew.” He shrugged off the memories, and thoughts of Mark with the Wild Hunt and Helen’s banishment, and pushed the cart toward the cheese counter. “Come on, I want to buy some weird cheese.” 

“Weird cheese,” Magnus sighed, following him to the counter. He was surprised to see that Alec did want ‘weird’ cheese and even tasted samples from the woman behind the counter before settling on three wedges of Dutch cheese. “I admit, Dutch cheese is not something I’ve ever really tried,” he added as Alec put it in the cart and half dove for the handle before Magnus could take away that safety blanket. 

“Ever?” He shook his head regretfully and waited for him to pick a direction, cheese having been all the energy he had for directing the trip at the moment. “It’s good. You should have tried some. Anyway, aren’t you part Dutch?” 

Wandering with deliberate slowness because he suspected Alec hated shopping because Isabelle dragged him along sort of like a reluctant toddler or puppy, and that he might feel differently if he could be in charge, Magnus shrugged. “Yes. Though remember I grew up in Indonesia,” he said, leaving out the other details of his heritage so that any eavesdropping mundies would be none the wiser, “so things were a bit different.” 

Alec shrugged, impatient to move on to other things, and turned the cart down another aisle. “Come on, I don’t want to be here all day.” 

Having been forced to drop back at the sharp turn, Magnus did not miss the twentysomething blonde woman in the baby blue sweaterdress get caught in a head-on cart collision with the thirtysomething Latino man in a suit and tie because both were checking out Alec. Feeling vaguely possessive and just a tiny bit jealous, he risked the public display of affection and put his hand on Alec’s shoulder - though that something so platonic could even be considered a PDA was surreal but… such was life with Alec Lightwood. Happily, Alec did not twitch or shake him off, so Magnus kept his hand where it was and hoped the Latino man was bi so a connection might be made with the woman. 

They spent an hour and a half exploring the store. Magnus wasn’t sure Alec realized it, but almost everything in the cart was chosen by Alec because Magnus stayed back and gave him time and space. He picked out some things Magnus wouldn’t have chosen, to be sure, like avocado ice cream - dessert should never also be a vegetable, ever - but he didn’t say a word. He paid the cashier and they stepped back into the warm spring day with three canvas bags of groceries each. It was a little unwieldy for the subway so, while they stood in the crush of people waiting for the train home, Magnus thanked Alec’s Raziel for the rat scurrying by with a bagel in his mouth that distracted the mundies and magicked a backpack onto Alec, stuffing some of the things into it.  
“Why do I get the backpack?” Alec muttered, also slightly distracted by the bagel rat. 

“Again, you look like came from the gym. A backpack with my outfit would make me look like a homeless hipster.” 

Eyes narrowed, he shook his head as he let his eyes wander to the ads posted on the wall. “Or a pirate. You also look like a pirate.” 

Having had a fondness for pirates for centuries, Magnus was not bothered by this comparison. “Granted, of course, that pirates also do not wear backpacks.” 

“We should do that.” 

Blinking at the apparent change in topics, he nudged him with his elbow. “Do what? Become backpack wearing pirates?” 

Alec rolled his eyes. “No, that,” he said, jabbing his finger at one ad as the train pulled in. They got caught up in the flow of people getting on so he didn’t explain until they were standing near the doors and the train left the station. “I don’t know what to do with half the stuff we bought so… we should take a cooking class.” 

Magnus would possibly have been less surprised if Alec suggested an orgy with Jace and Clary. He knew his mouth was hanging open, and he only closed it because that was how one spoke. “A cooking class?”  
“Mm-hmm. Don’t couples do that? Take a class together so they do something together?” 

There was absolutely honesty in his face as he spoke and it reached parts of Magnus he’d forgotten existed. It was clear Alec had been thinking about ‘couple things’ and that meant the world to him. “They do. And… I can’t believe I’m saying this but… let’s take a cooking class. Did you write down the number for that class?” 

Alec had, and he was more happy than expected to be that Magnus had agreed to learn to the plan. He didn’t say anything else on the ride home, already trying to work out how to get a night a week off work to do it. He was so lost in thought that he followed Magnus up to street level without really thinking about it. And he jumped when Magnus yanked on the hood of his sweatshirt. “What?” 

“You’re extra cute when you get lost in thought,” he said first, “but I asked if you still hate grocery shopping so much and wish I’d agreed to magic in home.” 

He smiled at that and tried not to let Magnus see it, too much. “No, I don’t hate it so much,” he admitted as the warlock crowed happily beside him. “We can grocery shop again. But…”  
Magnus looked at him curiously. “But what?” 

Alec pulled open to the door to their building. “But we forgot Chairman Meow’s food. You can magic that, though. Just not straight into his bowl. He gets more skittish every time you do that.” 

Going home laugh was the only best way to go home in Magnus’ humble opinion. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two: S is for Santa Claus**

_December 2008_

“Please.”

“No.”

“It’s for a good cause.”

“And yet still no.”

The blue skinned woman crossed her arms over her chest, candy cane printed surgical scrubs rustling softly like a strange cross between paper and fabric. “You’re an ass, Magnus Bane.”  
“Flatter me however you like, Catarina Loss, and the answer is still no.”

Alec sighed from his seat at the by the window, where he’d been trying not to eavesdrop in their conversation by reading a Stephen King book - and he’d bet anything Stephen King had the Sight - but, when it turned into an argument complete with insults and begging, it was impossible not to hear. “I'll do it.”

Catarina jerked her head up in surprise. “What?”

“I’ll do it.”

She turned back to Magnus and grinned smugly at him. “You finally picked the perfect one.”

He ignored her, more or less. “Alec, do you know what you just agreed to? If you weren’t eavesdropping on the whole conversation, say so and then back out of what you agreed to. I can make her forget that you agreed in the first place.”

His hip still sore from twisting it badly while chasing omni demons through Coney Island in the ice and snow the night before, Alec rolled his eyes. “The guy who usually dresses up as Santa Claus for pediatric floor at Catarina’s hospital has pneumonia and can’t do it. She asked you to do it. You said no. I said yes. Good enough?” When Magnus only gaped at him, he turned to her. “Unless you don’t want me to. Since I’m… a Shadowhunter. Or something.”

Catarina thought it was sort of adorable that he thought his Angel blood disqualified him from dressing up as Santa Claus. “That doesn’t matter to me, Lightwood,” she said, “but if you need to check the rules of your people, go ahead.”

He shrugged and leaned back against the extra cushions on the chair. “Our task is to protect mundanes from dark, scary things. Hospitals and cancer and all that aren’t demons and Shadow things but… still dark and scary. Santa Claus helps kids be happy so… I don’t need to check. I’ll do it.”

She gave Magnus a long, pointed look and then stood up, crossing the room quickly to stand in front of Alec. Without a word, she bent over and cupped her blue hands on either side of his face and kissed him on the lips.

“Catarina Loss!” Magnus yelped as Alec stared in shock. “Get your lips off my boyfriend this instant!”

They were already off but she kept her eyes on Alec. “The usual guy is about a hundred pounds heavier than you and a half a foot shorter so… if Magnus isn’t totally useless, have him get you a costume, otherwise I will. The Christmas party is tomorrow night at six. I’ll meet you in the main lobby at 5:15 and take you to a place where you can get ready. Okay?”

Alec nodded, mostly recovered from the kiss. “Okay. And I just… walk around and talk to them? Ask them what they want for Christmas?”

“Yep. Don’t forget ho, ho, ho, especially with the littlest ones. If they’ve been good or bad too. Oh, and there will be gifts for you to give them. I’ll be Santa’s helper so I’ll be right beside you almost all the time.” She paused to take a breath and raised one eyebrow at him. “You sure about this? You won’t have to patrol or whatever?”

“I’m sure. Unless there is a serious demon invasion, I’m off duty for four days because of my hip.”

Catarina leaned down again and put her hand on his hip. Alec gave a soft gasp as warmth pushed into him and softened the nagging soreness. “It won’t be healed,” she said, her lips by his ear, “but the ache should be eased for awhile. Merry Christmas.” She waggled her fingers in a wave at Magnus and hurried out of the apartment.

Magnus hurried over to Alec. “I don’t know if I like her manhandling you like that,” he fretted.

“Why don’t you know how to do that spell?” Alec demanded, more than a little relaxed now that his hip didn’t feel like it were on fire.

He narrowed his eyes. “She’s a healer. I know things but it’s her specialty.”

“You may be the wrong warlock for a Shadowhunter to be dating.”

Magnus was strangely not insulted by this. In fact, he took it as a challenge. He did not intend to learn the spell, though he realized he probably did know it and just had forgotten it, but he resolved to find other ways to take Alec’s mind off the inevitable injuries he got in his line of work. Possibly ways that had nothing to do with magic at all. It wouldn’t work now that Catarina had done her thing, but it would work later. For now, he would set about finding Alec the perfect Santa Claus costume, without using magic to change his actual appearance to be more like the man he would be pretending to be.

It wasn’t as bad as Alec expected, because he didn’t even have to get up while Magnus conjured red suits onto him and off him with flicks of his fingers. And he was able to keep it limited to a traditional Santa Claus outfit. So it wasn’t as bad as he feared it could be. The extra bonus was Magnus declaring that his hip was too bruised to walk on, especially if he might have little mundie kids climbing on him tomorrow, and carrying him to bed where he promptly and easily made him forget any other aches and pains as he kissed him everywhere he possibly could.

 

Alec did not tell Jace or Isabelle that he was spending an evening dressed as Santa Claus. He wasn’t ashamed of what he’d agreed to do, he just really wanted to do it without them standing in the back of the room watching. Which he was absolutely sure they would do if given half a chance. So he gave them no chance.

He got up late, avoided Magnus who was singing Christmas songs constantly, and hid with his nose in a book about ancient Greece. It was probably stupid to be more nervous about this thing that he’d agreed to do than chasing the demons that he’d gotten hurt fighting but he was. He was, however, getting used to recognizing the stupidity of a lot of things that made him nervous.

Which did not make him less nervous.

“Do you want me to come with you?” Magnus asked, not at all sure what Alec’s answer would be.

“You can if you want.”

“Then I’ll stay home,” he said, reading between the lines of Alec’s answer. “Call me when you’re done. I’ll come then and we can get a drink or something.”

Alec agreed to that and left the apartment. His hip was only a little sore and Magnus had magicked the suit to Catarina’s locker at the hospital so he didn’t have to carry that, which was nice. He spent the subway ride reviewing all the life decisions that had led to him be doing this. It wasn’t so much about not wanting to do it, regretting that he agreed… he was just more than startled to realize he had agreed when he had no idea what would happen.

 

Catarina was waiting in the main lobby of Beth Israel, and she didn’t bother to hide her surprise that he’d actually shown up. “I was almost positive you’d bail on me,” she said as they got on a elevator.

“I said I would be here,” he said, shaking his head as the doors slid closed in front of them.

She nodded once and leaned against the railing on the wall. “I apologize. You aren’t like the rest of your people and I should not have thought of you that way.”

“It’s fine,” he said with a sigh. “I’m sorry too. Honestly… I’m kind of surprised I’m here.”

Catarina laughed softly as the doors opened again and she stepped into the hallway, leading the way to a storage room where he could get ready. “Then we can be evenly happy that you got bothered by Magnus being a twit and refusing, and that you’re too bound to promise and duty to flake out on me.”

“I don’t know why he was so against it. You’d think he’d want to wear a costume and be the most fabulous Santa Claus to ever walk the earth.” Inside the storage room, he pulled his sweatshirt off as he eyed the red and white suit draped on a pile of boxes. “Then again, he’d probably go too far and Santas next year would get asked why they aren’t glittery enough.”

Her soft laughter from before turned into such a deep laugh that she doubled over against the wall and tears streamed from her eyes. The mental image of Santa-Magnus dripping glitter all over a red felt suit and a stream of mundie kids was too much. Thinking of it, that Alec had described it that way, was possibly better than seeing it. Because she had no doubt that would be what happened if Magnus ever agreed to act as Santa Claus. “Maybe it is better that he refused,” she wheezed as her laughter started to fade.

“Maybe,” Alec agreed, laughing too. He had already traded his dark gray khakis for the Santa pants and dutifully held out his arms when she held up the coat.

Catarina worked quickly after that; glamouring his runes away, stuffing the coat with a pillow and securing it with magic, and creating a fluffy white beard that couldn’t be pulled easily. She gave him instructions on what to say to the kids and promised to hand him the appropriate gifts for the appropriate kids. And then she snapped her fingers and transformed himself into Mrs. Claus.

 

Over the next three hours, Alec sat in the family area and visited with the children who were well enough to leave their rooms and their families. He asked them if they’d been good and promised to bring them the gifts they wanted, laughing at their shy giggles and impressing Catarina by singing Rudolph, The Red-Nosed Reindeer when the kids begged for it. He debated which was his favorite reindeer, settling it by saying that his reindeer were like his children, he liked them all equally. He ate cookies and milk with them, promising to save room for what they would leave on Christmas Eve. Then he went with Catarina to visit the patients were couldn’t leave their rooms. Choking back emotions at the joy in their eyes when they saw Santa Claus come to them, he spent more minutes with each of them than Catarina expected.

Later, when they returned to the storage room and changed into their regular clothes, Alec took a long, deep breath before he turned to face her. “Did I do okay?”

“More than okay, Lightwood,” she said with a grin. “Some of the nurses asked if I could get you to come back next year. You were much more patient than our usual guy and everybody thought you were actually comfortable and maybe having fun.”

“I was,” he said quickly. “I mean… I know they’re sick and hurt and… but they needed it. Right?”

“Right. So… next year?”

“I’ll be here. But don’t ask me to be the Easter Bunny. No animal costumes. That’s my line that I won’t cross.” He laughed with her and sat down to pull on his boots. “Listen… do you need… like… volunteers to come in and… do stuff?”

Catarina could hardly believe her blue ears. Fairly certain a Nephilim, granted one of the better ones, had just offered to volunteer with mundane kids at a hospital, she was quick to jump on the offer. “Yes. Absolutely. A lot of the parents have to work full-time so the kids are here with just us nurses for company. It helps to have someone, you know, non-medical to play video games and read books and things like that. Why? Are you interested in that?”

He chewed his bottom lip and, finally, nodded as he stood up. “Yeah. I am.”

Magnus wasn’t there to see it, and be bothered by it, but she kissed him again.

He didn’t sputter nearly as much that time.

Catarina knew two days later the real impression the experience had made on Alec Lightwood when she got a copy of what she assumed was Alec’s Christmas gift from Magnus. It came in the form of a note to her, which read -

_The actual check has been sent to the proper place. I’m trusting you to see it through, Loss._  
Isn’t my boyfriend amazing?  
MB 

And in the form of an anonymous check for the full $1.5 million Beth Israel had been raising for a recreation center in the children’s wing, meant to house toys, books, games, and all the other things that might make children forget for a few moments. The only stipulation on the check was that it be called Max’s Place.

Catarina pocketed both pieces of paper and wonder if Alec had cried when Magnus told him.

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own this Shadowhunter business. I just love & borrow it.
> 
> This is meant to be a series of one-shots focusing on Magnus and Alec, during random moments in time, and showing "mundane" parts of their life. You could read chapter seven and never have read chapter one without being lost. I really hope I do Malec just and I'm absolutely open to suggestions if there's something you would ever want me to try and write for them! So... let me know what you think of this start? And if you have suggestions?


End file.
